( I had all these cool photos I was going to post with this, but couldn't figure out how to make it work)
Live Journal Discoveries From the Past Week:
I thought I caught the bubonic plague today, but it was just a sunburn and an overwhelming sense of being lost in reality.
I found some copies of the No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency at the used bookstore. I might send them to Andrea. I like to read about
Sometimes I feel loved. Like the other day, I was driving my car…on a road…and I looked up to realize I was following some secret admirers. Well they weren’t so secret about it, since they were advertising their great love me on their rear windshield.
I helped cut some very tall grass and pull some overgrown weeds at this older man’s house today. His neighbors complained to the city that he was creating a haven for west nile virus infected mosquitoes. So a group of us from my church hauled tractors, mowers, and weed eaters over to his “field”, and spent a few hours eradicating.
Right now, on my ipod, the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus is singing these lines: “a pebble in the water makes a ripple effect,
every action in this world will bear a consequence, if you wade around forever you will surely drown…I see what's going down…Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough.” I’m passionate about the words in this song. I watched an independent Swedish/Russian film the other day. I didn’t understand the language very well…well not at all, but the film was so powerful, it exposed the horrors and tragedy of the modern slave industry, and showed how girls from poverty stricken place in Russia, Eastern Europe, and Asia, are lured into finding work in well-to do western society. Once they arrive in the new country, they are immediately enslaved and used for prostitution and the sex industry. It made me so angry. Angry at the abuse they endure. Angry at the parents and families that let them leave. Angry at the patrons of these businesses or pimps. I know plenty of Soldiers or Sailors who, while on leave overseas, will ignorantly contribute to the abuse of these poor women and girls. Everything in my wants to fight to protect hurting people. Why don’t I do it then? I have a friend who doesn’t know what to do with her life, so she is heading to
Last weekend I spent some time with God. I mean I try to spend time with God all day long, but I sometimes get distracted. So I visited the International House of Prayer in
Many amazing and timely things happened during those days. In fact, I didn’t understand why I went at first. I was actually mad at God, because all of my weekend plans had failed and I felt stuck in
- I am a whore. Derek Webb sings about this in his Wedding Dress song. “I am a whore, I must confess. I put you on like a wedding dress.” I identify with that song completely. God calls us not to lift our souls to another. We make all these promises and commitments to God, and then fail. And feel bad about it. And ask God to forgive us. And he welcomes us back. These are the times when with think that Grace is cheap. But, though it was free for us, it wasn’t cheap for God, because as Bonhoeffer writes, it cost God his Son. I read through HOSEA, and the prophet Hosea married a prostitute, who was married to many men and kept leaving him. He kept taking her back. That’s why I feel like a whore.
- Be SALT, I am commanded. Sometimes I feel like my salt has lost its saltiness. So what is it then?
- Have mercy Lord, according to your unfailing love.
- Yaweh is my KING, ruling and reigning over me.
- Lord thank you for beautiful voices.
- We have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. That’s from Colossians 1:9. I’ve been praying that over my daughters for a while now.
- God will bring about JUSTICE for his chosen who cry out to him day and night (Luke 18:7-8)
- I think most people don’t realize what they are really longing for, and therefore, search the world for things to try to fill the empty holes in their souls. Eventually when we fail to find satisfaction, we enter a place of brokenness, and then have a choice, to let God fill us and heal us, or to live in bitterness and despair.
- Lord, I want to love as you love.
- I think I’ve gotten to the point in my life where SHOCK doesn’t surprise me anymore. Isn’t that some kind of oxymoron?
- You are worthy, our Lord and God to receive glory and honor and power. For you created all things and by your will they were created and have their being (Revelation 2:4)
- Jealousy is a husband’s FURY!!
- I’m grasping how wide, how deep, how long, and how high the love of God really is.
- Lord, change my occasional flirtations glance to a steady and longing gaze!
Here is a first look at a song I started to write in KC. I have developed a melody already, but like all my songs, will collect dust until I am partnered with someone more musically inclined than me. I play it in the key of Em.
That you have for me?
I’m just broken man (who is)
Lost at sea
I have nothing to offer you
On my own
I have no power
To change the road I’m walking on
I can’t seem to figure out
What I’m doing here
Look, I’m only a child
And full of anguish and fear
But you call me
Back to you…
And now you send me
Where you want me to go
You are the Spirit
Release this anointing over me (3x).
Last night my friend, Dan, counseled me on the phone while I was parked at a Shell gas station. It was timely and good to hear a friendly voice in the wilderness. I have been mulling over things, and don’t quite no where to go. My thoughts, emotions, heart, longings, and passions are all jumbled and tangled together. They are not neat and orderly.
Yesterday in my alone time I drove the Outback through the unpaved county roads of the